Schluss mit Zirkus

Galgenhumor„Schluss mit Zirkus – mein Wunsch: glücklich sein“ Das stand auf dem Zettelanhänger eines Luftballons, der kürzlich über unserem Garten zerplatzte. Und es passt sehr gut zum Thema Beziehungen, das die amerikanische Zen-Meisterin Joko Beck in ihrem Buch > Zen im Alltag < durchleuchtet.

„Heute möchte ich über die Illusionen sprechen, die wir darüber haben, dass Beziehungen zu funktionieren hätten. Sie tun es nicht. Sie funktionieren einfach nicht. Es gab noch nie eine Beziehung, die gut ging. Das Leben kann natürlich gut gehen, aber nicht deshalb, weil wir meinen, wir müßten etwas tun, damit es funktionierte. In allem, was wir in bezug auf andere Menschen tun, liegt subtile oder weniger subtile Erwartung. Wir denken: »Irgendwie werde ich diese Beziehung schon hinkriegen, und dann werde ich bekommen, was ich will.« Wir möchten alle etwas von den Menschen, mit denen wir in Beziehung stehen. Niemand von uns kann sagen, dass wir von den anderen Menschen nichts wollen. Und selbst wenn wir Beziehungen aus dem Wege gehen, ist das nur eine andere Art, etwas zu wollen. Und so funktionieren Beziehungen einfach nicht.

Nun, was aber funktioniert? Das einzige, was funktioniert, wenn wir den Übungsweg wirklich gehen, ist der Wunsch, nichts für sich selbst zu haben, sondern alles Leben, auch individuelle Beziehungen, zu stärken und zu stützen. Nun mögt Ihr sagen: »Das klingt gut. Ich werde es tun.« Aber niemand möchte das wirklich tun. Wir möchten andere nicht unterstützen. Jemanden wirklich zu unterstützen, bedeutet, ihm alles zu geben und nichts zu erwarten! Das hieße, dem anderen Zeit, Arbeit, Geld, alles zu geben. »Wenn du es brauchst, gebe ich es dir.« »Liebe erwartet nichts.« Wir aber spielen ein anderes Spiel: »Ich werde mit dir sprechen, und dann wird unsere Beziehung besser sein«, was in Wirklichkeit bedeutet: »Ich werde mit dir sprechen, damit du weißt, was ich will.«

Die unterschwelligen Erwartungen, die diesem Spiel zugrunde liegen, werden die Beziehungen unausweichlich scheitern lassen. Wenn wir das wirklich erkennen, können manche von uns vielleicht den nächsten Schritt verstehen, sie werden eine andere Seinsweise erahnen. Ab und zu leuchtet es uns für einen Augenblick ein: »Ja, ich kann das für dich tun, ich kann dein Leben schützen und stützen, und ich erwarte nichts. Nichts.«

Meditatives Üben ist nicht irgend etwas Versponnenes, sondern ein Weg, der uns mit unserem eigenen Leben in Berührung bringt. Wenn wir auf dem Übungsweg voranschreiten, bekommen wir immer deutlicher die Vorstellung von dieser anderen Art zu leben und wenden uns allmählich ab von unserer egozentrischen Orientierung – nicht zu einer Orientierung hin, die sich auf den anderen zentriert (denn das wären wieder wir selbst), sondern zu einer vollkommen offenen Orientierung. Führt unser Übungsweg uns aber nicht in diese Richtung, dann ist er kein wirklicher Übungsweg. Wenn wir immer noch irgend etwas wollen, dann wissen wir, dass wir noch weiter üben müssen. Da niemand von uns irgend etwas anderes sagen kann, bedeutet das schlicht, dass wir alle weiter zu üben haben.

Wenn meine Grundorientierung nicht aus dem Übungsweg klar hervorgeht, dann übe ich nicht richtig. Doch kennen wir diese Grundorientierung, so werden wir genau wissen, worum es uns vor allem geht, und das wird sich auf jede Lebenseinzelheit auswirken, auf unsere Beziehungen, auf unsere Arbeit, auf alles. Wenn aus dem Üben nicht etwas entsteht, was mehr ist als das, was ich gerade will, was mein Leben angenehmer machen würde, dann ist es kein wirkliches Üben.

Doch wir wollen das Problem nicht zu sehr vereinfachen. Üben wir auf diese Weise za-zen, müssen wir zwei, drei Aspekte des Übens weiterentwickeln. Es ist bereits sehr wertvoll, in starker Konzentration zu sitzen. Doch wenn wir nicht aufmerksam sind, können wir gerade dieses Sitzen und Meditieren benutzen, um dem Leben zu entfliehen. Man kann die Kräfte, die sich daraus entwickeln, sogar auf recht ungute Weise einsetzen. Konzentration ist ein Aspekt des Übens. Wir betonen sie hier nicht, doch diese Fähigkeit muss in einem bestimmten Maß erworben werden. Die Vipassana-Technik (die ich vorziehe), und bei der man wahrnimmt, wahrnimmt, wahrnimmt, ist sehr sinnvoll, und ich glaube, dass sie sich als grundlegende Übung am besten eignet. (Vipassana bedeutet Einsicht, die durch reine Achtsamkeit auf das, was in Körper und Geist passiert, erreicht werden kann. Vipassana-Meditation wird praktiziert, um das Ende des Leidens zu verwirklichen, indem mit einem gewissen Grad an Sammlung die wahre Natur der geistigen und körperlichen Phänomene erkannt wird. Denn jeder geistige Zustand oder körperliche Vorgang besitzt die drei Daseinsmerkmale der Unbeständigkeit, Unzulänglichkeit und Unpersönlichkeit.) Wann immer wir in einer Beziehung ein Gefühl des Unbehagens haben – also an jenem Punkt, an dem die Beziehung uns nicht paßt -, sollten wir uns sofort fragen, was mit uns los ist. Wie können wir mit diesem Unbehagen übend umgehen? Ich will damit nicht sagen, dass man jede Beziehung für immer aufrechterhalten sollte, denn der Sinn einer Beziehung hat nichts mit der Beziehung selbst zu tun. Der Sinn einer Beziehung liegt in der größeren Kraft, die das Leben bekommt, wenn man sie als einen »Kanal« versteht.

Eine gute Beziehung läßt mehr Kraft ins Leben einfließen. Wenn zwei Menschen zusammen stark sind, kann das Leben sich stärker verwirklichen als durch zwei einzelne Menschen. Es ist, als hätte sich etwas Drittes, Größeres gebildet, das Kraft weiterleiten kann. Und genau das will das Leben. Es kümmert sich nicht darum, ob man in seiner Beziehung »glücklich« ist. Es sucht nach einem Medium, und dieses Medium muss stark sein. Wenn es nicht stark ist, wird das Leben es sobald wie möglich links liegen lassen. Dem Leben ist es egal, wie »angenehm« unsere Beziehungen sind. Es sucht nach Gefäßen für seine Kraft, damit es so gut wie möglich wirken kann. Um diese Wirkung geht es bei uns allen; das Drama, das sich zwischen mir und ihm und ihr abspielt, interessiert das Leben nicht. Das Leben sucht eine Ausdrucks möglichkeit und wird wie ein heftiger Wind an der Beziehung rütteln, um sie zu prüfen.

Wenn die Beziehung die Prüfung nicht aushält, muss sie entweder stärker werden, um zu bestehen, oder sie muss sich auflösen, damit aus den Ruinen etwas Neues und Junges erwachsen kann. Ob sie zerbricht oder nicht, ist nicht so wichtig wie das, was wir daraus gelernt haben. Viele Menschen heiraten beispielsweise, obwohl ihre Beziehung zu nichts dient. Damit möchte ich natürlich nicht sagen, dass nun alle ihre Ehen auflösen sollten. Wenn eine Beziehung nicht funktioniert, heißt das, dass beide Partner vor allem mit ihrem Ich beschäftigt sind: »Ich will … « oder »Das ist nicht gut für mich … « Wenn man sehr wenig will, dann ist die Beziehung stark und wird funktionieren. Nur daran hat das Leben Interesse. Als isoliertes »Ich« mit seinen ganz persönlichen Wünschen und Begierden ist man für das Leben bedeutungslos. Und alle schwachen Beziehungen geben ein Zeichen dafür, dass jemand darin etwas für sich persönlich will.

Es sind große Fragen, die sich hier erheben, und Ihr werdet vielleicht nicht mit allem übereinstimmen, was ich sage. Doch es ist so: Auf dem Zen-Übungsweg geht es darum, selbstlos zu sein, zu erkennen, dass man ein NichtSelbst ist. Das heißt nicht, dass man ein Nichts, wesenlos, sein sollte. Es bedeutet, sehr stark zu sein. Doch stark zu sein heißt nicht, starr zu sein. Eine gute Beziehung hat eine flexible Struktur und die Fähigkeit, Anstürmen standzuhalten und unversehrt zu bleiben, weiterzubestehen. Doch wenn Beziehungen vor allem aus »Ich will« bestehen, so ist ihre Struktur starr. Und sie können dem Druck des Lebens nicht standhalten und damit dem Leben nicht dienen. Das Leben will, dass die Menschen beweglich sind, damit es sie für das brauchen kann, was es vollbringen will.

Wenn wir unseren Übungsweg richtig erkennen, können wir beginnen, uns selbst kennenzulernen und zu erfahren, wie unsere störenden Emotionen unser Leben ruinieren. Wenn wir dann ganz langsam, Jahr für Jahr, üben, entwickelt sich unsere Stärke. Manchmal ist das ein sehr harter Weg. Sagt Ihnen irgend jemand etwas anderes, dann spricht er nicht von wirklicher Meditation. Wirkliche Meditation ist keineswegs etwas Rosiges, Angenehmes. Doch wenn wir uns ganz darauf einlassen, werden wir allmählich erkennen, wohin unser Weg geht, was wir anstreben, und wir beginnen zu sehen, wer wir sind. Deshalb wünschte ich, wir alle könnten unser Üben wirklich schätzen und richtig üben. Durch unser Üben biegen wir unser Leben nicht irgendwie zurecht. Das Üben ist die Grundlage. Ist sie nicht da, so ist nichts da. Betrachten wir also nüchtern, wie unser Üben im Augenblick ist. Und wer weiß, vielleicht ist auch einer von uns in einer Beziehung, die wirklich gut geht – eine Beziehung, die auf einer ganz, ganz anderen Basis steht. Es liegt an uns, diese Basis zu schaffen. Tun wir also einfach dies.“

Auszüge aus „Zen im Alltag“ Charlotte Joko Beck, Knaur Verlag

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